Does it bother anyone else how much you judge someone immediately by how they dress?
I mean, it's not that I'm trying to be judgmental of people, but you know, if I see a girl dressed in an ambercrombie shirt with booty shorts and uggs and and another girl dressed in a flannel with jeans and chucks, my mind is going to immediately think two completely different things about each person.
I don't want this to happen because, who knows, maybe booty short ugg boot girl is actually really down to earth and grunge punk gal is actually really plastic and fake instead of the other way around- the way my brain automatically labels them.
Not trying to immediately stereotypically label someone the first time I see them before I know them is something I've been working on since my freshman year of high school.
So far I've deduced that this is basically impossible and the best I can do is let my brain automatically label someone as "interesting" or "bro" and then tell myself, "You don't know anything about them, so you can't think that" and then try to get to know them before making anymore assumptions.
Maybe I'm a total asshole for thinking this way, because honestly, I have no idea what goes through other people's minds when they meet someone for the first time, but this is what happens with me and the little "don't assume" in my head is proving to be pretty efficient.
Recently, I wrote in a letter to one of my friends about this phenomena and that since I've been doing this, I've become friends with people I would've probably ignored because of how they dressed.
Which, I mean, how terrible, right? The fact that I would dismiss talking to someone because of the way they present themselves with clothing is pretty awful, but it's true and I'm just being completely honest because, yay honesty and such.
But like I said, since I've been practicing trying to ignore how people dress, the people I've met and friends I have gained from such practice is pretty damn awesome.
I have a variety of friends that enjoy a variety of different activities and interests and this makes my personal life much more enjoyable and fulfilling.
The people you surround yourself with help shape the person you are and the life you live, so having a variety of different people in my life is freaking awesome. I have friends I sing with, friends I skate with, bake with, go to shows with, study with, thrift with and eat ice cream with.
I don't know if anyone understands how freaking stoked I always am to have the friends I have, but I promise you I'm really f'ing stoked.
Every night, before I go to bed, I always like to think about my day and everything I did. Mostly, this consists of who I came into contact with, how I treated them and why I treated them a certain way. It's always less rewarding when I look back on my day and realize that I was a flaming bitch to all the people I care about, because I never have any reason to be mean to anyone and then when I am, it's terrible because dammit, I freaking am so excited to be your friend, honestly, so stoked you're in my life and then I treated you like poop today and I'm so, so sorry.
I've also recently discovered that even the people I don't see eye to eye with or who drive me insane are also pretty cool. Not everyone is going to get along all the time, and I know I'm not the poster child of someone who's easy to get along with (a shout out to being a little over opinionated and loud a little too often...), but I am starting to appreciate the people in my life I'd rather not see as often as I do more and more. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I promise that's true.
Everyone I meet has taught me something and just because I don't like some initially (or for years at a time), it doesn't make them or myself a terrible person, I think it just means we have yet to discover what we share in common, even if it's just one hobby, like drinking tea or eating ice cream, doesn't mean we have to be best besties forever, but I definitely enjoy life more when I've got less enemies and more friends and friendly acquaintances in it.
Plus you know, it's important to love your neighbor and that's more fun than disliking someone.
So, in conclusion, yay for people, you know?
And try not to judge each other so harshly, yeah? No one benefits from that. You definitely don't benefit from that.
And maybe be a little nicer and forgive a little more? Be a little more understanding.
And just because you haven't seen someone in months or years doesn't mean you can't be friends or love that person anymore.
And treasure the friends you've got- faults, quirks, weirdness and all- and make sure they know you love them because even though on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, love lies in the middle, right above food and security, it doesn't mean it's not important, because it is important.
Really damn important.
Love,
Neffie
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